Being a woman...

Firstly as always I apologise for the fact I haven't blogged in so long and for the fact that whenever I do blog this is the first sentence. I suppose I just haven't felt like I wanted too, and as this is supposed to be something I do to enjoy and as a release almost, I guess that's ok... 

However I have recently found that I am feeling passionate about a topic other than my family and the latest steam mop on the market. (Yes I am that sad) 

I'm passionate about women supporting each other, it would seem that not many do this... For me personally I love being a woman in this day and age, for all the wonderful things being a woman gives you and the number one for me is to carry and then give birth and raise a child, for me nothing can top that. Women are great! We can now do pretty much whatever we want within reason and that is so fabulous, we don't quite have equality but it's certainly on the way, in many parts of the world, many other parts leave a lot to be desired. 

So in this wonderful day and age where women have a "choice" about their destiny why is it that every single time I look on a certain form of social media that I see women tearing strips off one another! Are we meant to not build each other up? I come from a long line of independent, strong women who build each other up, the friends I have that are women only build each other up so why on earth should we feel the need to tear strips off other women, that could be in our head or chatting to friends about the mum who looked a bit flustered at playgroup this week. 

Yes I'm currently a stay at home mum... Because if was the choice that my husband and I made for our family, I don't have independence as I rely so let on my husband to support me financially (and for that I'm very greatfull) however that doesn't make me any less of an independent woman... I had a choice and choice is what it's all about... 

We are living in a time where women have to have if ALL! We have to be sexy, but not too much that's slutty, we have to work and have kids and if we only do one of those then we are judged again, we have to wax and shave fucking everywhere! Look presentable at all times, be good wives and amazing mothers, keep the house immaculate and have tea on the table, and play with the children, do homework, run the house and be sexually addiquate... Surely with doing all these things we as women should be supporting each other... 

My husband often calls me a feminist , and I suppose I am, I mean who wouldn't be on their own side? So why aren't all women? 

Anyway congratulations if you made it to the end of quite frankly a bit of a rant ... Keep being fabulous x

Harry's 18 month update.

So this monkey is now 20 months and I've only just got round to writing my blog again, so here is Harry's 18 month update, luckily I wrote things down when he was 18 months so this post should t be to vague. 

The biggest thing to happen at 18 months is that Harry now sleeps through the night consistently, this has been the most amazing breakthrough for all three of us because let's be honest sleep is so important and lack of it can send you to hell and back. The thing that cracked it was no more nighttime milk, this was so hard as Harry has always needed me to feed him to sleep despite trying various different self settling methods. However it seemed that at 18 months Harry was able to cope emotionally with a little bit of cry it out and no more boobie. This also meant that when he did wake up that my husband could attend to him and I finally had some sleep. 

The next big milestone was giving up breastfeeding completely, this was so emotional for both of us and I think Harry coped better than me. But by the time he was nearly 19 months there was no more breastfeeding. There were no tears from Harry but plenty from me. 

Harry's speach has also come on in leaps and bounds and he is saying so many words, Doggy, that, two, there, yes, no are just a few. Listening to his speach develop is so exciting and I'm loving how he points and chats about everything. 

Something else that has become clear in his 18th month is that he isn't a baby anymore he is a proper little person, he has his own ideas and preferences, he knows what he wants and how he wants it, this can be challenging to deal with but it's wonderful to watch his character develop. 

His routine has changed since he was 18 months but it still hasn't really settled into a predictable pattern, in fact I think the days of predictable routines are over. Harry is on the go running everywhere constantly, he never stops, he looks for the next step in whatever we are doing before he has finished the first, he's clever and has a great sense of humour! 

He's not at all shy about saying what he wants to do and has become so independent. His little character is blossoming and I'm so glad that I'm here to watch him grow and develop along the way. 

Happiness

I haven't blogged in what seems forever, that's not because I haven't wanted too but more because I haven't felt that I had anything I wanted to blog about... Obviously I could talk all day about Harry and how much I love being his mum but I'm pretty sure the small audience I'm writing to would get tired of that. However I do want to blog about this, and this has been on my mind for some time, I haven't realised that I needed to write about it until today. 

I have recently been feeling an extreme sense of calm, and over the last few months I have mistaken that feeling for numbness or confusion or tiredness however I've discovered that I'm actually just happy. This isn't because everything is going the way I want in life or that I'm a millionaire in fact at times it's been quite the opposite. However I'm happy. I don't feel angry about anything really and if I do feel angry it's brief and passes without me even showing an emotion other than smiling to myself. For those of you that know me will be aware that I am prone to a major drama queen melt down from time to time. However suddenly this doesn't seem to happen. I've discovered that the reason behind this is because my happiness is strong, and that criticism, nastiness or unfortunate events can't stop me from being happy because I've chosen to be happy. 

I've always been a glass half full kind of girl and I know that my positive vibes can irritate people but I guess that's just who I am and I'm ok with that. In fact I'm ok with who I am. I don't think I'm perfect far from it in fact. But I'm ok and happy to be me. The reason I felt the need to blog about this is because I have never felt ok with who I am and the fact that I do now is quite momentous. I'm glad I am the way I am, I don't like my negative attributes but I accept them for being me and actually it's ok. My life is far from perfect and I'm far from perfection yet I'm finding myself to be so happy every single day. Not all day but for the most part I am happy. 

I wonder if this feeling of content will last? I think it will and I certainly hope it does . But for now I just want to enjoy this feeling of being happy being me. It's something I've never experienced and realising what this feeling is is really wonderful. 

I also know that I will probably get some stick for this post, people may misunderstand me and think that I'm preaching or boasting but I'm not I just needed to put this into words. 

Harry's 13 month update

Harry turned 13 months on the 10th of June, originally I wasn't going to do an update as there had been no major changes but on the 10th Harry took his first steps on his own! 

I'm so super proud of him, he has gone from just holding a finger to walking and nearly running on his own. 

I'm pretty sure that I have said this each month but this phase is my favourite! Watching him turn into a toddler is the most fun, I love watching him expire things at a new level. 

Another change is that Harry is now back to two naps again! I'm sure he just keeps changing to keep me on my toes! We seem however to be in a really good routine now and we are all happier for it. I'm the sort of person who thrives from routine and knowing what comes next. 

Harry is also now eating a much wider range of foods, he loves pasta and the messier the sauce the better. 

Harry is still waking once or twice a night for a milk feed from me and I am still breastfeeding 3 times a day. Basically before each nap and then at bedtime. As much as I want to start to drop the breast feeding I also want to continue until we are both ready. In the short time I have been a parent I have learn that if you force something before you are both ready you make things worse and so much harder. 

Harry is still in 12-18 month clothes and 5+ nappies. He has 4 front teeth and is as gorgeous and perfect as ever. 

Things are changing.

Since becoming a mother I have realised that you have to be able to adapt to constant change, some of which you are ready for and some you are so not prepared for. I have found that with Harry, he is always ready for the next step and I am left trying to catch up and adjust to the "new" thing. 

For me I am now going through the "new" thing that I have found the hardest to deal with so far, Harry has now gone from two good naps a day to one quite short one! This has come as such a shock and something that I'm not remotely ready for! I had been very lucky and been able to have two hours to myself in the morning then another hour in the afternoon (I'm sure that some parents will really envy that!) although Harry thinks he is ready for this sudden napping change I can see that he isn't quite as ready as he thinks but no power I posses can change his mind. The last 10 days have been challenging, with tantrums, tears and not much sleep and that's just been me! However I now feel as though we are both settling into the new routine and although I'm missing my me time I'm hopeful that Harry might now sleep through the night... Haha I know silly to think this right! 

The next big thing that will happen is walking, Harry isn't quite there yet but I can see it on the horizon. 

How do you lovely parents cope with change? For me it brings on anxiety and OCD both things I have always suffered with. Or perhaps my OCD didn't show so much when I had more time to complete my cleaning tasks during the day who knows?! 

I'd love to hear about the changes that your babies and you yourself are going through. 

Harry's 1 year update.

I've decided to start doing some updates on Harry, probably every 6 months, I wish I had don't this sooner while he was a tiny baby. 

Harry is now one and I seriously love this stage although I'm pretty sure I've said that about every stage! 

His routine has changed slightly, he now takes a shorter nap in the morning at around 9am for an hour followed by a longer two hour nap at around 1pm. It's taking some getting used to as I had settled into his previous routine so much! However it does mean that we can now leave the house between 10am and 1pm  so we can make earlier play dates. Whereas before we were never ready to leave the house before 12.30.

Harry is now standing on his own for a few moments and walking with either his push along walker or holding mummy and daddy's hands. He is very close to walking and appears to prefer to stand up than be sat down. 

Harry has also started to really show his character, he has strong feeling of what he likes and dislikes and has also started to show a preference in toys, for example he loves toys with lots of moving parts especially wheels and anything that he can lift up to reveal something behind. 

Harry has also began to understand words and sentences for example "no" and "sit on your bottom" (this is always used if we are having something to eat and he isn't in his high chair) he is still saying mamma, dada, baba, and will make sounds that sound like words, he makes a sound that myself and my husband know means doggy but he isn't actually saying it. 

Sleep has changed a lot since he has turned one, he now only wakes once a night unless he is poorly or teething, this has made such a difference! Much better than the 3-8 times a night he was waking before. 

Harry is eating 3 meals a day and one snack depending on the day. He will eat a wide range ovf vegetables, meat and fish. Roast chicken is a particular favourite closely followed by salmon. And currently grapes are his favourite fruit. 

He has now cut down to 4 breast feeds during the day and one a night and I don't think it will be long before he drops the morning feed and the night feed. I am in no rush to stop breastfeeding and would prefer to let him self wean, originally I wanted to wean at one year but I don't feel that waiter of us are quite ready so providing he stops between now and two years I am quite happy. 

Harry adores the outdoors and always wants to be outside, this is perfect for our lifestyle as both me and my husband love to be in the garden. 

Harry now has two bottom front teeth and a top front tooth that 1/4 out! And a full head of hair. He is looking more like a toddler and less like a baby every day, his clothes are size 12-18 months and he is going to get his first pair of proper shoes this week, ready for him to start walking. 

For me I have no more recovering from birth, I am now back to my pre baby weight my hair has grown back and my monthlys are also back to normal. (Sorry for tmi but I want to be honest) 

I will do another update for Harry when he is 18 months. Let me know if you enjoyed this post, as this blog is as much for you guys as it is for me. 

The Mother of a nearly one year old...

Can someone please explain to me how one year has almost passed with this amazing little boy? 

While I was pregnant I was repeatedly told by other parents that time goes so very very quickly once you have children, and to savour every moment. I took this advice on bored and I know that I have made the most of every moment with this little person my husband and I created. It's a crazy thing having a baby... It completely messes with your head, nothing feels the same anymore apart from your love of your husband or partner, everything in life changes. It's hard to adjust you feel so full of emotions some good and some bad, you feel love, joy, extreme tiredness, guilt, self doubt and self worth. (Just to name a few emotions) it's a total roller coaster. 

I have loved every minute of being a mother to Harry Alexander, and I'm so excited for future adventures with my family. My priorities in life have changed... I don't care for much anymore, nothing material can make my life more full of love and happiness. 

In this year I have had less sleep, at times less confidence and more love and joy than I could ever put into words. There have been good day and bad but mostly good, it's been tough and amazing and perfect in every way and there is nothing that I would change. I now have a full blown coffee addiction and my body isn't what it was but its ok, in fact I think I'm more confident now than I have ever been because I have respect for myself and for my husband, we planned to grow this gorgeous child and we were lucky to do so easily. My body has been through so much and has coped with pain that's unimaginable to anyone who hasn't given birth. But I did it and I'm so proud of myself and my husband for supporting me. 

Life has changed so much, we often have a laugh about how a lay in is now 7am! But life is fuller, has more purpose and so much extra love! 

People often say oh it's not the right time to have children yet, and put things off, the truth is there is no right time, you will still have less money, no me time and probably be the most tired you've ever been, you will bicker with your husband because your both tired and you will feel frustrated that you don't always know what to do. Your home will still look like a bombs gone off in it for the weeks after having a baby and let's face it probably years! But you will be the happiest you have ever been, you will feel more love than you ever have before. And it will be truly the best time of your life. 

Harry is a beautiful bright, happy, smiley  little boy, he likes routine (thank god so do I) change worries him and if we have a "new" day it must be followed by a relaxed day at home. He loves the outdoors, animals and mud! He wakes frequently in the night but has always napped well. He has two bottom teeth and a gorgeous head of hair. He is kind and loving and gives the best kisses. His favourite food is banana closely followed by hard boiled agg and toast.  I really couldn't be prouder of him and I know that my husband feels the same. 

My hope is that he grows up to always be happy and have a life full of love and never feeling alone. We would give him the world if we could. I'm so sad that he is growing up but I have loved watching him grow... My heart is full and I can't wait to watch this little one discover and learn new things every day with his mummy and daddy right behind him, teaching him and helping him but giving him the independence he needs. 

Happy nearly first birthday little one, mummy and daddy love you to the mood and back. Xxx